I Miss Him Today

I miss him today.  More than usual, no particular reason.  I just do.  Sitting on the freeway, waiting for it to be “my turn” remembering him saying that its motion activated, silly stupid things like that.  I just miss him today. 

I cried today, my seven year old gave me a hug and said it was OK, he missed him too.  Children are very intuitive.  I am not looking forward to His baby girl starting kindergarten without him there.  That is so hard to even think about.  I’m sad today.  I just sometimes want his arms around me more than I want to take my next breath.  I want to feel him with me, i want to not be here without him.  But I am.  I am here without him.  Trying to find the strength to take another step forward.  The strength to keep going.  Taking one day at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace.  That is what I’m clinging to today. 

I miss him today.