“The Widow”

I’m not a person anyone wants to be around.  I’m awkward to be around now.  I’m the one everyone is avoiding.  The one everyone “feels sorry for”  The one who people whisper “how IS she doing?  Are her kids OK?”  I want to scream at all of you.  PLEASE JUST TREAT ME LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!!!  I lost my husband, I did!!!  I loved him, I miss him.  I AM STILL A PERSON!  I am NOT just a grieving widow!  Ask me about my kids, tease with me, laugh with me.  PLEASE.  You make we want to hide and run away.  I already don’t want to go out as it is.  I want to move away where no one knows me.  Where I can be someone other than “the widow”  I’m not someone to feel sorry for.  I don’t want your sympathy!  I want understanding and love, and just… acceptance.  I have to accept this, please accept me now without labeling me.  Please accept my kids without labeling them.  We are still the same people,  our grief does not define us.  My grief does not define me.  Please, treat us normally.  Stop asking how we are with that sad, horrified look on your face.  Just give us a hug – greet us like a normal person and be.  That is all we can do too.   If I start crying, just leave me alone.  I’m sorry I’m awkward to be around, I am, but constantly talking and asking “how we are” is not helping.

 

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