Here without you


Here without you baby, but your still with me in my dreams.  Painfully true,  I’m moving on though from sad to happy when I remember, I feel like I’m able to process the bad better, and remember all the good.  The road, the fun the smile, the laughing.  I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time.  Only people who have lost know how hard it is some days to breathe.  God truly makes beauty from ashes though, so I’m clinging to that.  Remembering our road trips, remembering all your crazy dreams that you managed to make happen.  Remembering picking up and moving our kids with 8 duffel bags across the ocean to live on the beach.  Remembering camping for three weeks to avoid having to pay rent between places.  Deciding to drive to Tennessee 24 hours straight through to  visit your sister on a whim.  Remembering me crying about thanksgiving and being stressed so you saying, “lets just leave” so we did, we drove to TX instead and went to Sea World!!!  You Loved me,  I loved you.  When it was good, it was amazing.  Hahaha, you were a water sign and I am a fire sign we were  complete opposites, completely in love.  What an awesome memory we had.  We had a life, a life filled with love, hope, pain good, bad, we had both.  We were passionate, we were extreme, we extremely loved and fiercely clashed.  I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams.  I feel like I can finally finish the book I started for the kids,  I feel like I have finally forgiven you.  I know your in heaven today, i’m still alive, I’m still here.  I will still go on with our dreams.  I’m just here without you.



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