We have forever

We have forever, Jason and I used to say that to each other.  Mainly when we lamented about no having enough alone time.  I’d always say, no big deal baby, we have the rest of our lives to spend with each other. :).  ONE of my friends today said (in reference to possibly having to work on her hubby’s birthday) its not that big of deal, we will have lots of birthdays.  WOW, anyone of you reading this who is an unfortunate member of *this* club, knows just how NOT TRUE that is.  Jason and I didn’t have forever, in fact, the last time I said that to him, I only had 5 days left.  FIVE DAYS.  I had no clue, he had no clue, and we never had enough time.  The greatest thing I have learned from losing my husband, was just what the cliche always says.  to cherish your time.  I know everyone says that.  When you’ve lost someone you feel that.  We didn’t have time. WE don’t have time.  If your working all day every day and pouring yourself into work, exercise, family, church, God, whatever it is that has your time, make sure your making it count.  Making it count for what matters.  You and I really don’t know how much time we have on this earth, nor do we know when the next one we love will leave.   I cherish the moments way more now.  I was speaking to Jason’s mom today, and loved what she said, “I really feel like I have to make life count now” I do to. Losing Jason has made me feel things way deeper than before.  I want to make a difference, on my other blog, (dontdrinkthecoolaid.wordpress.com) It inspired me to write this explaining how his death has changed me to be even more passionate about life.  I miss Jason,  I loved him and we did not have forever.  Don’t put off for tomorrow what should get done today.  

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