Living with pain.

How do you live with CONSTANT stress in your life?  I know how.   One day at a time.  One hour, one second if you have to.  I know what it feels like to have facing even tomorrow seem like an avalanche of boulders about to squash you.  So you kinda create a “bubble” and only focus on the present.  What do I need to do now?  What has to happen in this moment?  When Jason would leave, or was home and “sick” that’s how I coped.  Now that he’s gone, its again, how I cope on my bad days.  Which are getting less than everyday the more time passes.  I love love love LOVE the serenity prayer, which I have posted below.  I love it.  It sums up so much how I live my life, and how I have gotten through the days I felt like someone had sucked the air out of my life and I couldn’t breathe, and it will get me through the days that are coming like that.  I went to Celebrate Recovery tonight and was reminded, JUST HOW AWESOME God is.  I mean really, I always hear testimonies on how God changed a broken life, not by fixing it and removing pain, but by allowing the person to see him working in their lives, and allowing people to USE their pain to make something beautiful. Kinda like the recycled trash art projects!!  :D.  I am Gods masterpiece, he recycled all the crap, poor choices and pain and made it intosomething new, using every single piece to create a masterpiece.  God is amazing.  I look forward to how God will use me losing my husband to help his other masterpieces.  I can see so much how he has used Jasons addiction and my problems and struggle to help/heal/change him to help others.  If nothing else its gives me street credit 😉  .  

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

(Although known most widely in its abbreviated form above,
the entire prayer reads as follows…)

Living one day at a time; 
Enjoying one moment at a time; 
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it; 
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life 
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.


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