The Club None Want to Join



My name is Christy, I was married ten years and am now a widow, a mom of 5 and a beginner blogger.  I started this to help myself and others process a spouse/partner dying.  My husbands name was Jason, he died of meningitis very suddenly.  I have tried to find support groups and have been unsuccessful.  I’m  29, I have 5 children, and my husband was on a wait list to get into a rehab because for the past five years he was a struggling Oxycontin addict.  The pain of his death has brought on a torrent of unexpected emotions from pain, sadness and anger to relief and guilt.  This is my process, your invited to join me on my journey.  I hope your joining as  just a spectator, because I wouldn’t wish the pain of losing a spouse, or of having a loved one be the one who hurts you, on anyone.   Welcome to The Club None Want to Join.

I recommend starting with this post, The Day You Died  If you are also a widow, or if you relate to my stories, I would LOVE to hear from you.  Life is easier when you travel together.  My story in greater detail – although still vastly summarized can be found here.

My other blog is  Where I post my rants, raves, philosophical ramblings and temper tantrums!




  1. I know you dont know me, butI wish I could give you a hug. I lost my husband of 9 years 3 years ago. It, too, was sudden and I am still dealing with the emptyness. Life does move forward though sometimes we wish for a reprieve. If you have access to facebook, please come by Widows / Widowers Loss of a spouse. It is under community. I made the page for the same reason you started this blog. Originally for my own therapy, but have found it is not only helped me it has also helped others. Peace and love to you and know that there are others there for you.

  2. The Club No One Wanted to Join. That is so perfect for the way I feel about this and in my experience also how those one the outside no see me. I’m not sure you have had the same experience but for me the sudden death and then widowing of me has made me somewhat of a social pariah. People that know me are frightened of my grief and I think just as frightened that it could also happen to them, as I am physical proof that it doesn’t always happen to someone else, someone far away from their safe daily lives. Thank you for sharing! Much peace to you.

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